The Ride

I’mmortal.

…I broke the Ouroboros.

The tides seem to have a life of their own

as the waves gently suggest my boat

into the night.

Always into the night.

In the distant horizon

I leave my past behind;

my future is uncertain-

it runs a parallel line

with all my other lives.

“All your other lives?” You may be asking yourself.

I have witnessed so many beginnings and ends,

firsts and lasts, and the alphas begetting the omegas.

I have brought this world to its end so many times.

And as I continue this pattern- I may never die.

I ride the tail of the Ouroboros into a new creation

as long as I find the point where its tail’s ingested.

When the universal design is most perfect,

when the culmination of history deems it,

and the buildup of so many personal energies

combined within my own personal universe

finally tells the greater whole that the moment has come.

But this is all mere reflection.

All that exists before me now

is an endless body of water,

me,

and this boat.

What is left of my universe?

I fear that I may have distorted

such intricate design

through far too many lifetimes of tampering.

~ The edges of the world are doorways

into other plains of existence

allowing the sun to exit through the back

and supplying the moon with an entrance

so that she may take center stage again.

Reflecting from the water is a glittering infinity

when the sunset curtain parts and a galaxy

opens up above and below me.

My boat ripples through space.

My body floats along

towards the directionless nothing.

Hours become days as

days turn into months;

months fade into years

as years ease into a meaningless stasis.

Eons pass and

the sky has been completely born anew

so many times over that I have learned familiarity

to be pointless.

Every star has faded from existence

and been replaced

by another star

born from the destruction of the previous.

A wondrous thing, cycles.

It is how the universe keeps itself alive.

I wish it would die.

I wish I could die as well.

One or the other.

It doesn’t matter in the end.

Time. Time. Time.

It comes and goes,

it possesses us,

and it passes us by.

It takes us by the hand

only to take us into the deep ends

within the oceans

that I now know as the vague laws

and concepts that we once thought as absolutes

where it drowns us.

I now see immortality as a mistake

an incalculable amount of lifetimes too late.

Meditation. The universe has a pulse. It contracts and expands. It is breathing. The breaths used to be getting greater and greater, inhaling more nothingness and exhaling space. But, as it was designed to do so, it is now taking shorter breaths. It is slowing shrinking down on us. It will continue to do so until the lungs collapse and the spine supporting this universal body breaks. It will fall within itself and as the stomach swallows and digests it, all this compacted and collected mass will be pulled into a single spot so tightly that it will explode and re-expand again as a new life-form entirely. This is the body that they seem to call god, but it is just a series of currents, vibrations, and energies. That is all of what makes us up. Veins, the life force that we throw ourselves into. We ride these currents and paddle against them. We choose alternative routes. In the end though, we are all a part of the same circulatory system. We are all cells, a dismal fraction of a larger body. But at the same time we all possess our own personal universe; this fantastic energy that surrounds us and makes us up. It is constantly being altered as well, and has its own pulse that combines with all the other energies that contributes to the great whole. Whenever two universes merge within the chaos of the great whole, they are altered and will never be the same again. These circumstances can be from anything as minute as a random brush of a stranger’s elbow on the sidewalk to a new deep friendship to the great embrace of a lover and bringing new lives and their universes into this great whole. Energies are combining and clashing, they are moving and even if we don’t notice, especially with the more minute combinations, everything is different. Your personal universe is altered.

Too bad I am the only one left alive

within the greater whole.

There hasn’t been another soul for so very long.

Nothing contributing towards the greater whole

which means no more energies to bring upon a great reinvention.

Nothing contributing towards my own personal universe

which means stasis.

I just lie on this boat and wait for my own personal pulse to slow

and fade

and die.

I don’t know if this will ever happen though.

I think I may have done something terribly wrong.

Nature, forgive me.

How I miss age and counting down the years to my death.

All those ambiguous concepts.

Oh; how this world bores me now.

There is no end to the Ouroboros.

The tail cannot be removed from its mouth,

but rather the ring that it makes up can expand

infinitely.

The universe will still end where design has set it to begin-

without ever beginning if extended far enough.

Uni-Verse.